As for death being a primary fear, I’m not convinced that’s at the heart of things for everyone. I don’t know if I’m alone, but I always thought that if I die, I won’t exist anymore. So I can’t regret or miss life, it would essentially be over in the blink of an eye with only an empty shell to show for it. The only people who might be sorry would be those who might miss me. It wouldn’t be my loss, so what is there to fear? Just be disappointed if it happens early. I think we should really fear losing those close to us. Because we can’t get them back.

I find when you point out racism around you, it’s really not that terrible. People shuffle their feet, look awkward and at worst, try to turn it on you. I’ve never felt I needed to play along. What’s the worst that could happen? Rejection? If you play along, you have to listen to that crap over and over again! Silence is taken for agreement. Agreement is validation for prejudices. It’s easier to rip the band aid off immediately and face things head on than to give people the wrong impression and let them feel betrayed later. If I don’t agree, I say something.

Thanks for the post, it was something to think about.

Most recently I’ve been incorporating an analysis of what it means to have grown up during the cold war…during a time when the threat of complete human annihilation was such a real and present reality each and every day.

I was speaking to a friend on the phone yesterday about my understanding which says that many people relate to conflict, disagreement, arguments in the micro as having the potential to snowball and go out of control, go ballistic in ways that might lead eventually to a bomb.

I think there is a way that we were all taught to do our part to avoid conflict in the face of a threat so seemingly uncontrollable that the only thing we really could do in the face of it was to completely control ourselves.

I’m remembering the fear I grew up with as a child…that I’d be blown up, that I’d die with horrible boils all over my body, that I would get a horrible painful cancer after armageddon and not survive.

I remember feeling paralyzed with fear. Paralyzed.

I realize that as I work to throw off various types of silence, as I step into various arguments, disagreements rather than step back, the only thing that really unites the every day human beings I’ve come up against is FEAR.

They’re all walking with horrible paralyzing fear that leads them to behave in all sorts of ways.

These are wimmin of power and consciousness whose underlying impulses are still to cover and hide, deny, pretend all is well.

These are people who are respected and looked up to, who move undercover in ways that say “I am a scared little child”.

I really do think that all over the globe people are completely terrified of dying if they speak, if they kick up a fuss, if they don’t keep calm and behave.

I really do think that control has leaked into our lives to such a great extent that we do believe that we will be killed, that everyone we love will be killed, that our communities, our countries our world will be killed if we don’t shut up and play along.

I think your fear makes a lot of sense. I think your words and this post makes a lot of sense. Thanks Maia and Second Waver.